roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

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What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda.

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roses are red you are dumb no one will care when you die

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What didn't the artist buy at Best Buy? A Ziploc Bag full of AIDs infested zebra pubes.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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Man 1: What's the difference between an elephant and a mailbox? Man 2: I don't know. Man 1: You'd make a terrible postman

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Hobos are like Obama they want change.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

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whos a sick fuck? jake morris

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How to confuse a dumbass: see next post.

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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Fine, this better be worth it, this is no time to be a jackass Nero.

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A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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