Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...