What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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You wanna hear a joke? Me too

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

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What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

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What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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