What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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Alchohol.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

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Title IX

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

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Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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