How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Multi Orgasmic Pillow screechers

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where did little Suzie go after the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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You were born.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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Your mother has cupcakes, she offers you one, how many does she have left? The same amount she had before, you are full. Moral: Cupcakes.

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How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has no arms.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Two scientists walk into a bar, the pair walk up to the counter and the first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too." 10 minutes later, the second scientist dies.

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ask me if i am a tree. no.

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knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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Moby Stick, the Great White Twig

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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