How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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Where there is a will, there is generally a grieving family... I miss you, dad.

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Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

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What do u call a muslim A infection to America

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NASCAR

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Q. whats worse then eating a slice of cheese? A. Finding out your mom has a penis

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i have a black person in my family tree he's still hanginh

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Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

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What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

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Your so gay, that you like men!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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