So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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Diana and victoria

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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