An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I have a knock knock joke. You start.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -59

How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

thumb_up thumb_down +120

whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops