Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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