Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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You are on a street. there are 4 houses, a red one, a blue one, a green one, and a white one. The red man lives in the red house, the blue man lives in the blue house. the green man lives in the green house. Who lives in the white house? The president

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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