When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

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Whats 9 + 10 19

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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