Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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Asian NASCAR.

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Knock knock

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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