What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hail Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man and a midget walk into a bar. They notice the beverages are unreasonably priced so they leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did women scream loudly!? As the women was unexpectadly frightend!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops