Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

Eh yo Sean u mr. Kingston Hey, how are you doing?

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Nothing, they're extinct.

Two children are opening presents for Christmas. Daughter: "Look how many beautiful things I've got, look how much parents love me! And you got a Jo-Jo! Ha-ha!" Son*playing with Jo-Jo*: "Yeah, some of us have Jo-Jo, and some of us leuchemia. Ha-ha."

Q: What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

Knock, Knock Who's There

Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

Verbal assault; because battering someone to death with a dictionary has never been so much fun. [L]

You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

Robin, get in the car, please.

Abortion.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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