Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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There once was this guy and he fell down

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What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

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What has 4 legs and doesn't move? A child born in Chernobyl.

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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THe Election

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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What do u call a man pointing a gun at you? A man with an anger issue

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Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

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i need teepee for my bunghole! jlr

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

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Q: What did the black man do at KFC? A: nothing, he ate dinner at home.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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Boner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops