Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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what did the African baby get for his birthday?..... AIDS

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9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

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Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

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Q:what did the Aardvark say to the other Aardvark. A: nothing because Aardvark do not have the mental capacity to carry out basic conversations

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Why did the black man walk across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

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Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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why did the black go to the KFC because he likes fried chicken

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Women's rights.

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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