Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -4

(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What makes a subaru a subaru? The fag thats driving it

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops