Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Who did the dinosuar, that's pretty fricken awesome!

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs? An amputee

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A little boy went to a sleep over . They watched a episode of pokemon and the flashing lights triggered the boys epilepsy he was driven to hospital and is recovered.

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Hey I Just Met You And This Is Crazy But I Am Pregnant And It's Yhur Baby ~GotDemChoozen

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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