You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Your momma so stupid, she speaks poorly and can't spell very well.

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Do u take sugar?

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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Have you ever heard of a goose?

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Your mothers so dumb that when she had to take a math test, she received a significantly lower grade than the rest of her classmates.

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7+5=12

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what goes round , and round , and croaks? a blender in a frog.

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee and had armor so it deflected off. Then I found out my wife was pregnant.

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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