Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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among liedbtt is my Captcha code

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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women's rights

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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whats the difference between blue and green? there different colours.

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Wait! hundred billions!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops