Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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Where does a king keep his armies? In his sleevies

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Dwight Howard

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

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What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Will Smiths rapping attempt was suprisingly not harmful to his career as he later played in blockbusters such as Independence Day, Men in Black, The Pursuit of Happiness ect..

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man. The mexican got his arms shot off in the war and is severely paralyzed. God Bless our troops. Thank you for serving us.

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one stop shop

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Q.what has big ears? A.your vagina.

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Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

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Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

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Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

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Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops