Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

2 boy once went to a party. One boy dared the other to suck all the helium out of a balloon. Today this boy is know as Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -15

i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? He actually planned to visit his family on the other side, but unfortunately he did not look both ways so was involved in a terrible car accident. His family now mourns their loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats more serious than rape the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the blonde get a tattoo of her adress on her arm? She never wanted to forget her great childhood at her family home, and she hoped that she would come back some day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black guy with a job? Responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Whats worst then losing your wallet? A: Giving birth to a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do bitches love cheese toast? 'Cuz bitches love cheese toast

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops