What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

can you touch your toes? no

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a Mexican with a lawnmower? The guy I'm thinking of is named Pedro. He works hard and takes care of his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's comfy and easy to wear? Shorts.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems rhyme This doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops