How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

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How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

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why cant fat people walk because they are fat

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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if a joke has not punch line, how does that strike you?

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I named my son ps2 controller

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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