Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

Why did Jenny cry? Because everyday Jenny is bullied. Jenny cried for this reason, but nothing happened. The bully still bullies her today.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

What happened to the black jew? He went to college and died in a plane crash.

I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

Dwight Howard

What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

Anti jokes are stupid Anti jokes are dumb I'm a pedophile, You better run.

(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

Why did annie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Annie!

A black guy goes to the bar. The Barman say: What would you like to drink?

What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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