Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

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What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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