Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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~Chinese Anti Joke~ What is the difference between American army and Chinese army? American army teach youngsters to use their tanks. Chinese army smash youngsters with their tanks.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Q. What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A. An horse.

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Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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A car walked into a bar... wait no it didn't it has wheels.

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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What's the difference between a black preist and a white priest? the color of their skin.

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Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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