A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

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What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Q-what did the bus say to the other bus? A-nothing, buses are incapable of talking

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

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How do you kill a blonde girl? You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a filled pool.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

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Whats sad about a black man killing himself? That shaft DVD that he rented will probably be late now.

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Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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what do mexicans and grass have in common You find them both in your front yard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops