There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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How many times has Belle Ahern been hit in the mutt 76. Stupid slut

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Nero here, nice to see you guys again, now you know why my babbling has been excessive (and pissed at the comments below, but now that the pills are working I am calm) Anyway, yeah point Zero is my "world" now, and its been thriving under my values (something I feared would just work on paper, and if so such beliefs would all been for nothing) As for hero... Well insert something like "I am no hero, I just do what is right" or something cheesy, or... Well, thats what I do really... Since nobody uses this site Ill extend the time you "former followers" can chat, as I got some nice stuff to share, and might just share a bit before I pass away (nah, but I will sleep when tired), I got a lot to do tomorrow.

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What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

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Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

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Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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