What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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alert("Hello");

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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whats the king of the forest, is the color brown and is red all over? A deer or someone's soon to be dinner.

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Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

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one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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