Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

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Stephen Hawking

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Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

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roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops