Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Q. You guys want to here a joke? Kids: Yeah! A. Women's rights

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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A muslim walks into an airport. He then buys his ticket, boards his plane, and his flown to his proper destination.

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what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

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What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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The once was a man from Nantucket, Who gave up on his life and said "damn this!" Then he won lots of money, His future looked bright and sunshiny Until one day he suddenly died

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Q: Who visits the dyslexic boy on christmas A: Satan

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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