So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

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Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

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Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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a black man, a jew, a mexican and an irish man walked into a bar and the bartender says: This is joke right??

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roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wristwatch! Wristwatch who? Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

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One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

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Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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