A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a cat a dog and a penis meet up. The cat said ur lucky, when you have to pee u can go wherever you want. the dog said your lucky you can go in a litter box. the penis said your lucky u dont have to put a ballon over your head and do pushups till you throw up!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

everyone dislike this

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why doed Dorris suffer from incontinence? A weiner dog punctured her bladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats funny about this joke? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the pig squealing? Because all four of its legs were tied together and it was about to have it's head chopped off so the meat could be processed for people to enjoy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you call a blonde, a brunette, and a red head all who are 16 years old and standing in a school? A: High School Students

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops