Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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Praise Paisley

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

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A black guy pulls into a KFC drive thru and orders some chicken. The cashier tells him that they are out of chicken, so the black goes to McDonald's instead.

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

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Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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