Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

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What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car!

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Q: what did Timmy get for his 8th birthday A: killed MR

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

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how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops