Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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What do you call an blank test? an F

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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*knock, knock* "Who's there?" *knock, knock* "Who's there?" This went on for hours, as man 1 was deaf, and man 2 was blind.

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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identical jokes get different votes.

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A midget and a jew walk into a bar. i forget the rest of the joke but your motheris a tramp.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops