What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

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What's the difference between humans and dogs? 4.

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

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Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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