What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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I forgot what came after: Roses are Red Violets are Blue Too much anti jokes

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What Do You Call A Black Guy Surrounded By Nine White Guys With Bats? Jackie Robinson.

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Three black men walk into a bar. One of the men, having recently reached sobriety, opts not to commence in the consumption of alcohol. The other two, impressed by his level of restraint, decide to leave the bar and take the initiative to turn their lives around for the better.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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whos the most unprodutive person ever not hitler her helped over populatin and got rid of the jew they multiply like jews anyways

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Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

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What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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