Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve you kind here." The black man says, "Is it because I'm black?" The bartender replies, "Yes."

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whats brown and booky a book.

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whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

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What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

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A blonde walks into a bar ouch

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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what's black and can't swim?

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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Y did the chicken cross the rode to/ get away from KFC

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What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer, then you will die.

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What's the difference between a gay person and a Nazi? No gay person systematically murdered 6 million people.

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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69

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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