What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

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Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

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I'd like to make a withdraw

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

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Why did the chickecross the roe? Because I was bein chased by an angry group o mobsters that 8 years ago were busted by the chicken when he was still working for NYPD and found them all in an ally and busted them for later discovered tax evasion and then 2 years later they found a way ou of prison and tracked down the chicken for 6 years until they found him in road island 4509 lake side estates and then proceeded to chase him onto and across a road that was near by to his lake side apartment and then they go tire and we. Back to their HQ in NY and then the leader of the gang went home and in a depression fuels rage mersiouy beat his wife then went up stairs and threw his 9 year old son out the window and hanged himself. The chicken also died because 8 years is at the top of their lifespan.

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Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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