Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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i killed a blind guy when he wasnt looking

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Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Christianity.

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Vaginas are like? books. You stick your dick in them.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Knock knock Who's there Bill Bill who? Bill Thompson

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

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What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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vitamin c

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Ben Corbishley

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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