I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

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what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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why couldn't the man open the window? he had no hands due to his time serving the USA in vietnam

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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LOL

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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wetly sucks dick just like teh boowb

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops