a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

dyslexics of the world untie!

Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

I like that, but why am I happy?

I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

What is more boring than watching paint dry? Aids

I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

ejaculation JLR

what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

I like to thumb up my own jokes.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

knock knock who's there? penis in penis in who? penis in you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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