A rooster is standing on top of a pointed bird house. He lays an egg. Which side does the egg fall, the left or the right? I don't care, I'm a vegetarian.

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What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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why did jenny get 22 turnovers in a basketball game? because jenny has down syndrome

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Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

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what did the white man say to the mexican man when the mexican stepped in poop? you have poop on your toe

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Why did the Arab bomb the US? Because it was his job.

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Joke

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Knock, knock Whos there? docter doctor who? yes how did you know?

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

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Three women are seen walking while having ice cream. One of them is licking the ice cream. Another is sucking the ice cream, and the other one is biting the ice cream. One of these women is married. Which one is married? The one that has a wedding ring on her finger.

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Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

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What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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