A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

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One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

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Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

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why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

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An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian working in a field? You politely ask their names and then use them; their colour is of no consequence.

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Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

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Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

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Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

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It's all Taggart

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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What happened to the soldier who go shot while fighting terrorists in the middle east? He died and had a proper funeral back in the town/city that he was born in.

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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whats the difference between a brick wall and a jew? jews wear yamakas

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Why is Jordan Abu Arabian ? Because his mom is!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops