why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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Q:why did i cross the road A: time to get a watch

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why did katy fall off her bike?

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

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What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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