Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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