What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

The joke below me was written by someone who was mauled by a panther and raped by a tribe.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

how do you save a black man ... u don't

A fish walks into a bar. He proceeds to talk the bartender. "Blub blub blub" The fish sitting next to him whispers to the bartender. "What is he talking about." The bartender shrugs.

Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

why was the little boy sad? he found out that George Washington was dead.

What do u call a man pointing a gun at you? A man with an anger issue

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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