I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

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What african eat for christmas Sand.

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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cats are pussies

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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