Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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If two blondes had a kid it would probably be a blonde because two recessive chromosomes have a higher chance of showing than one dominant gene.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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Obama

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: Because he was shot in the face

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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Why do mexicans eat tacos? Because they're good

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it's delicous.

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

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Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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Why did the jews get off the bus? Because i threw a fridge at it

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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