chinga tue madre Ryan

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

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what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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Ready for something funny? nothing

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What did the POW say to his captor? I do not want to be waterboarded.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

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A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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