Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: what did Timmy get for his 8th birthday A: killed MR

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Gay marriage is freaking gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A dog walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "What can I get for you?" The dog replies "1 beer please." shocked at the dogs English the bartender sprints out of the bar in terror

thumb_up thumb_down +6

if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops