What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

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roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

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What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

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Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

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If I were in a room with you hitler, stalin, i would shoot hitler and stalin because they are horrible people.

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Q:What's better than getting 500 million dollars A:Nothing

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

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I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

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How do u say hi to a black person JUST SAY HI RACIST

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

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A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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Why did the cop pull the black guy over because he was speeding

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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