How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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Knock, Knock! Who`s there? Your mama`s stupid! Your mama`s stupid who? Your mama`s stupid as a rock! I` m going to cut your eyes out and use them as baseballs!

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roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

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Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

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Q:What's better than getting 500 million dollars A:Nothing

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Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

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How do u say hi to a black person JUST SAY HI RACIST

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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If I were in a room with you hitler, stalin, i would shoot hitler and stalin because they are horrible people.

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What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

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My brother and I laugh at how competitive we used to be. But I laugh harder

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what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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