What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

Why did the man look up into the sky? carrot cake

I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

#IsaiahAfterAD&B

What's worse than holocaust jokes? The Rwandam Genocide.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have 5 Fingers The Middle One's For You!! :D

What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

are u black unlucky

Why was the boy adopted........ because hes grandad

What did the red paint say to the blue paint? They said nothing. Paints don't talk and you need to see a doctor if you answered anything else.

What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

dead dibbs

Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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